Well metalheads, it’s Christmas time again. And no matter how much you profess to worship the devil, no matter how hard you go in the pit, no matter how tall your spikes are, no matter how long your hair is… admit it, you love Christmas. Come on, we see you headbanging to “White Christmas” and laying out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve… even if you do eat them yourself the next day.
Well, the cool thing is, Christmas is a great time for metalheads. Know why? Because right around the holidays, there’s always tons of new cool shit for metalheads to buy. Here are a few gifts that will be ideal for your Christmas list, whether you’re doing the giving or the getting.
The 2020 Metalhead’s Holiday Gift Guide
Heavy Metal Face Masks: Okay, let’s just get this one out of the way. With the pandemic going strong, we all need to wear a face mask at some point or other, and if you’re gonna have to wear one, you might as well look cool while doing it.
Fortunately, you can keep yourself safe from germs while showing how metal you truly are. Superheroeswearmasks make a wide variety of metal masks featuring bands like Slayer, Megadeth, AC/DC, and more. Pick your fave and wear it loud and proud.
Turbo Lover Bootie Shorts: Ladies, how sexy will you be lounging around the house in these hot Turbo Lover Bootie Shorts? Show your man what it really means to hear those engines cry. They’re soft, stretchy, and made of a durable cotton polyester material. I wonder if Rob Halford has a pair.
ESP LTD Stef Carpenter Signature SC-607 Baritone Guitar: Priced close to $1,200, it may not be easy to get anyone to cough up the dough to buy you this guitar for Christmas, so you may be better off buying it for yourself. Nonetheless, the sexy purple color makes it irresistible and if you can play all seven strings, you will elevate yourself to heavy metal beast status.
Standout features include the humbucking pickups that let you switch between an active and passive voice. The extended ebony fretboard gives you optimal tone. And for those who don’t know, Stef Carpenter is the guitarist for the Deftones, duh!
Heavy Metal Word Search: Need something to do when you’re at the club waiting for your favorite band to come on and the band that’s on kind of sucks? How about a heavy metal word search?
The book has 105 different searches, 50 for the most popular heavy metal artists of all time, 50 for the most popular metal bands, songs, and albums, and five with miscellaneous metal terms. It promises hours of wholesome fun.
Sabbath Studded Sabbath Bath Soap: You may think that heavy metal bath soap would smell like beer, cigarettes, sweat, and leather but you’d be wrong. These Sabbath Studded soaps come in two color varieties, white with gold studs and black with silver studs. They are available in a wide range of scents including Holy Diver, Hell Bent for Leather, and Fairies Wear Boots.
Instead of having the same exotic aroma as say, Ozzy Osbourne, these are advertised as being a relaxing blends of bergamot and lavender and heady combinations of cedarwood and balsam. So yeah, think of smelling more like the dudes from Tame Impala than your favorite thrash idol… but hey, the soaps look metal.
Heavy Metal: The Story in Pictures: Want to learn about heavy metal, but not so much into reading? This picture book will give you everything you need to know about metal without having to digest a single word… well, maybe one or two.
The book covers metal from its inception in the 1960s right on through to today with pics of bands from every genre of metal and festival images archived from Hellfest, FortaRock, Wacken, Jalometalli, Eisenwahn, and more.
EVH 5150III LBX-S 15-Watt Tube Head: Well it took us all the way to number seven before we even started talking about how much 2020 bites the big one. But it’s time to start ranting.
Not only has the year brought us a pandemic, not only can we barely go on social media without encountering some sort of political argument, the year has also taken some of the most inspiring musicians from us with arguably the most notable being Eddie Van Halen.
Well, you can keep his spirit alive by buying this awesome mini amp head which offers a wide array of guitar sounds and a blistering amount of power. Alternately, you can save a shit ton of money by lighting a candle and blasting some old school VH.
Open That Pit! Barbecue Rubs and Seasonings: Get it? Cause it’s like a barbecue pit and also like a mosh pit?
Apparently the guy who makes these spent years singing in heavy metal bands. I guess that didn’t work out so well for him but fortunately, he didn’t quit his day job.
The set of three includes one for beef, one for birds, and an all-purpose blend. Warning: It is advisable to wait at least thirty minutes after eating before trying to mosh.
System of a Down Wall Clock: Wake up! Grab a brush and put a little makeup.
What better way to let you know it’s time to get up than with a System of a Down wall clock? Okay, maybe it doesn’t have an alarm, but who really cares when you can see Serg Tankian’s lovely face constantly staring down at you.
More than a clock, this is a work of art and a great way to show how dedicated you are to metal.
10 Random Heavy Metal Pins: Oooh, random heavy metal pins! Get pins of your favorite bands in packs of one, five, or ten. The fun part is, you never know what you’ll get. With my luck, I’d end up with Nickelback.
Now here are some album picks heavily recommended by the OG metalhead (who also happens to be my husband) Ides Bergen.
Trivium – What the Dead Men Say
I bet if the dead men are saying anything at all, they’re saying “This is a great album.” But seriously, Trivium are such an awesome band, even I, who has not been excited about new metal for longer than I care to admit, digs their music. This album does not disappoint. True to classic power metal with a modern twist, they are on a trajectory to become one of the most legendary metal bands of our time.
Napalm Death – Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism
Napalm Death is showing an expanded palette with their 2020 release. The grindcore band is branching out to include elements of crust punk and even some groove metal. “Contagion” and “Amoral” are stand out tracks, but the entire album totally rocks.
The Black Dahlia Murder – Verminous
Bone crushing death metal perfection…need I say more?
Cycle of Suffering – Sylosis
Cycle of Suffering marks a triumphant return for Sylosis. These blackened thrash veterans are back with an album that is true to their classic roots. Highlights include “I Sever,” the title track, “Cycle of Suffering,” and “Calcified.”
Diabology – Nobody Believes Me
I wrote this article for free so you should damn well expect me to plug my own son’s band. These Los Angeles teens are destined for greatness, but, okay, I’m the singer’s mom, so maybe I’m a little biased. If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself. Blackened thrash at its finest.
Here’s some picks from GoD’s Empress Eve of Doom and Metal.
Megadeth founder and frontman Dave Mustaine chronicles the making of the band’s 1990 album Rust in Peace, a thrash metal masterpiece.
The legendary metal god himself Rob Halford of Judas Priest offers up his first memoir, where he talks about his five decades in the music business, his struggles, coming out in the 1990s, and much more.
This year marks the 40th anniversary of Motorhead’s classic album Ace Of Spades. The 1980 record is the best known and bestselling for the British band, and contains the classic line-up of frontman and founder singer/bassist Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister, drummer Phil “Philthy Animal” Taylor, and guitarist “Fast” Eddie Clarke. So it makes sense to have a special 40th anniversary release of Ace Of Spade, now available in several formats — a deluxe boxset, a triple LP, and double CD and digital boxset — with a new master of the album, some previously unheard concerts from 1981, and lots of never before seen photos, memorabilia, and interviews. The deluxe box set also contains 42 previously unreleased tracks and a DVD of rare TV appearances.
The mighty Metallica teams up for the second time to play along with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra for the heaviest classical concert ever. Thrash classics from the band like “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” “Master of Puppets,” and “One,” as well as gems from The Black Album (“Wherever I May Roam”, “Enter Sandman”) along with newer offerings from Hardwired… to Self-Destruct and Death Magnetic get the orchestral treatment in this new live release.
Containing 56 songs on a 3-CD or a 4-vinyl set, this collection offers up the best of Doro, featuring German metal queen Doro Pesch, formerly of the band Warlock. If you want to go really big, look for the box set that includes Doro’s signature perfume and a scarf.
EVH Frankenstein Mini Replica Guitar: As Metal Mama Marissa said above, 2020 has been a pretty terrible year that’s taken a lot of musical greats from us, most heartbreakingly was the amazing Eddie Van Halen. Guitarist, songwriter, inventor, Eddie left behind a lot of incredible things for the musical world. You might not be able to afford to buy some of his equipment for your gift recipients, but you can spring for a mini replica of his famous red, white, and black “Frankenstein” guitar. There’s also a 5150 Guitar version, as well as minis for his Black & White and Black & Yellow guitars.
Check out all of our Holiday Gift Guides — including more Music picks — for more ideas, and remember, if all else fails, there’s also the Amazon.com Gift Card, you can have emailed to the recipient (arrives immediately) or you can print out the gift card at home and give it to the intended that way. If you order in enough time, you can get the physical gift card sent directly to you or to the recipient.